Kairi's Love Consultation
by easterlily16
Summary: Selphie thought she was sick. Kairi knew Selphie was in love. Selphie was hopelessly stubborn. Kairi was especially nosy. When Selphie had come to Kairi for help, she just would not leave her friend in denial.


KAIRI'S LOVE CONSULTATION

By easterlily16

"At times, I have this...weird feeling. I can't tell you what it really is, but it makes me feel...unsettled, insecure. It's as if that feeling takes me over and makes my heart thumping like crazy and my mind going blank. It hurts, but I don't know why, how, or even WHAT this feeling is. It's either I'm going crazy and all this is only in my head, or I really am sick and just don't know what my disease is."

"That is called LOVE." Kairi pointed out as a matter of fact when Selphie told her her story.

"Okay, now I'm pretty sure I'm insane."

"That's love you're feeling, Selph. I'm sure of it," said the red-head, stretching her lips ear to ear excitedly as she propped her head on her hands, "So, tell me what this guy's like."

"'This guy'?" Selphie raised her eyebrow. She didn't like the way this conversation was going. "Kairi, since when does feeling uncomfortable have anything to do with guys?"

"Since you told me that your hearts was going like crazy." And the fact that Selphie always had this dreamy gaze on her face every time she caught a glimpse of a certain brunette-Tidus. But Selphie didn't need to learn about it from her.

"And? It doesn't imply anything."

"Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't."

"You're being stubborn, Selphie." Kairi crossed her arms, seemed slightly annoyed at her friend's uncooperativeness. "And when you were the one who came to me for advice..."

"No offense, Kai, but I know you're wrong. I am NOT in love with any guy!" The girl exclaimed, staring at Kairi's eyes with determination and a bit of private-space invasion.

"Girl?"

"Kairi!"

She held up her hands with a smirk, silently telling the brunette she was only kidding. "You should relax a bit, Selph."

"I will, once I find out what is wrong with me!" Selphie snapped.

Kairi sighed. "You still think this is a disease?"

"Of course. If it's not then I can't think of what else it can be."

"You're hopeless," said Kairi, shaking her head a little. She didn't know how Selphie's mind worked, but if one thing was obvious, it was that Selphie looked extremely worried about her condition. If Selphie wasn't going to just accept and admit the fact that she had a crush on some guy, Kairi might as well went along with her way of thinking. At the very least, it would help her friend calming down for now. "Alright, if it really IS a disease, what disease do you think it is?"

"I don't know, but I have this 'hot' sensation, like my heart is burning!"

Kairi chuckled. "You mean like a heartburn?" She said sarcastically.

"THAT'S IT!" Selphie suddenly exclaimed, almost too loudly that Kairi thought she would spurt her drink out. That is, if she DID have a drink though. "That's it, Kai! You're a genius." Selphie said again, happily and not-so-loudly this time as she grabbed Kairi's hands.

Kairi blinked, once, twice, before she finally said, "I am?"

"Yes! I get it now, Kairi."

"You get what?" Kairi was confused, a bit dumbfounded too, not knowing what anyone could get from her sarcastic remarks.

"I have gastritis!"

"..." Kairi didn't know what to say. "Selph, I don't think-"

"Yes, that's it. All this time I suffer from gastritis. That is why my chest hurts. It's not the heart that burns, it is my stomach! What do people take for gastritis?" Selphie suddenly turned back at Kairi.

"Er... Antacid?"

"Antacid, got it!"

And with that, off she went.

-x-x-x-

Kairi sat on a cafeteria chair with her arms and legs crossed in an impatient demeanor. Her eyes stared at the brown-haired girl sitting across from her, who was looking back at her.

"I took the antacid," the girl said slowly.

"And?"

"It didn't work. My chest still hurts, if not worse."

Kairi let out a sigh, massaging her right temple. It wasn't the first time she had to help her friend's love life, but she hadn't thought bearing with her friend's stubbornness would feel this tiring. "Selph, I told you about that, didn't I?"

Selphie looked down. "You're right. Sorry. I was too caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't listen to what you said."

"Well, since you seem to be very sorry, I'll forgive you." Kairi smiled. "But we still need to work on that problem of yours."

"Oh! About that, I think I've figured it out."

"You have?" Kairi raised a scrutinizing eyebrow.

"Oh, yes," Selphie said. Her tone showed clear confidence in them. "I think the uncomfortable feeling I have is just a symptom of somatoform disorder."

Kairi was speechless.

"You know, disorder when people feel sick, but actually aren't. I heard the causes are psychological, like mental disorder or stress. I do think I'm dealing with too much stress lately, especially when I have to bear with Tidus. Do you think I should go see a psychiatrist or something? Kairi? Are you listening?"

Kairi nodded, telling Selphie she was listening, but remained quiet. With her eyes closed, she inhaled and held her breath. One second, two seconds, three seconds and she heaved out a heavy sigh. She raised her head and met Selphie's eyes. A smile was on her face. "You know, Selphie. Seeing a psychiatrist might not be a bad idea."

"You think so?"

"Oh, yes, I do," said Kairi. "You might want to meet Tidus' father. I heard he's a psychiatrist, a good one, too. Just tell him everything you told me and don't forget to mention your problem with Tidus. On second thought, ask Tidus to come during the session. That way both of you can settle your problem and maybe even cure the symptoms."

With that being said, Kairi waved Selphie goodbye, leaving the brunette ponder whether or not to take her advice-which she probably would anyway. Kairi didn't know if her plan would work, but this was as far as she wanted to be involved in her friend's love life. After all, love was not as fun if they had it pointed out.

Kairi skipped her steps as she passed through the crowded hallway. A smile was on her face. She had done a good deed today.

-x-x-x-

Author's note:

This is supposed to be a one-shot story. I might continue it or I might not, depends on the demand.


End file.
